It’s late on a Saturday night, so I thought I’d just post some random thoughts.
- It’s been nearly three weeks since Rocky went to the Bridge. Time seems to have flown by, but these last three weeks have lasted forever.
- I really wish now that I had started blogging at the start of the journey. There were some really good times these last eight months that I have no record of now. March, April, May and June were really good months. I remember thinking in mid June that I had no regrets.
- The house still feels really strange and foreign without Rocky. It’s not so much the quiet as it is just a complete lack of energy.
- I have yet to vacuum since he went to the Bridge. I can still see some of his hair in the carpet, and there’s still some mud he tracked in the last few days he was here. I’m not refusing to vacuum for sentimental reasons; I just haven’t had the energy to do it.
- I’ve found three pennies – one each week he’s been gone. They’ve all been pretty mangled. I’m still waiting for a bigger sign that he’s made it.
- I really need to spruce this blog up.
- The one silver lining I was looking forward to was the relief that our battle was over. But, at this point, I think I’m more worried about him now than before.
- I’ve barely been out in the back yard since he’s been gone. It feels completely foreign now.
- I feel miserable most of the time. I know, eventually, that will pass. But there’s a pretty big part of me that never wants to feel good again. In a weird sense, it’s like if I hold on to this pain, I’m still holding on to him.